


Why?

by PuppiesRainbowsSadism



Series: SPN Rare Pair Bingo 2015/2016 [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Body Dysphoria, Multi, Polyamory, Trans Character, Trans Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-14
Updated: 2015-12-14
Packaged: 2018-05-06 15:50:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5422910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PuppiesRainbowsSadism/pseuds/PuppiesRainbowsSadism
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam sat up, but the pleasure was too great, so great it hurt, and Sam doubled over, sobbing pathetically to himself. Why did he have to deal with this? Why couldn’t Cas or Gadreel just fix him? Why wasn’t there some stupid human tablet that Kevin could crack to fix this mess? Why -- ?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why?

**Author's Note:**

> For SPN rare pair bingo. Square: ABO

Sam curled up in his bed, alone. He hated being alone, but times like these . . . well, having his lovers around wasn’t such a great idea, even if everything in Sam was crying out to have them here with him, touching him, sharing warmth.

He curled tighter around himself and whined, forcing back the threat of tears.

Usually, his and Dean’s ruts were in sync, and Benny’s had a bit of overlap. Then, they had discovered long ago, it was much less detrimental to Sam to have them, and even Cas, in bed with him than to be separated like this. But Sam was not dealing with his natural cycle right now. A grieving omega widow in heat had triggered Sam’s rut, and it was all he could do to focus on the case.

Now, there was no case to distract him. Sam had nothing to occupy himself with, and ignoring the tingling in his abdomen, the intense desire to fuck, was almost impossible, but touching himself felt so much worse.

He hated being alone.

Sam was tempted to go find one of his lovers -- Dean, Benny, Cas, Gadreel; Kevin and Garth were both out -- not for sex, but conversation, touch, something.

Gadreel didn’t like sex. Maybe Sam would go find him.

Sam sat up, but the pleasure was too great, so great it hurt, and Sam doubled over, sobbing pathetically to himself. Why did he have to deal with this? Why couldn’t Cas or Gadreel just fix him? Why wasn’t there some stupid human tablet that Kevin could crack to fix this mess? Why -- ?

“Sam?”

His head snapped up to see a silhouette in the doorway. Its shape was assumedly female, and the voice supported that fact.

“Meg?”

Sam and Meg weren’t involved, not really. Meg was with Cas, sometimes, and sometimes they asked Sam to join in too, but for the most part, they just shared. And Meg sure as hell never called Sam by his actual name.

“Hey, beautiful.” With anyone else, that would be an insult, but they both knew the pet names reassured Sam. “I come bearing tidings of . . . stuff.” She came closer, and Sam could see she was carrying a tray -- crackers and water, as if he were in heat. He would have cried, but his tears seemed to have vanished. Stoicism was just one of the downsides of being a -- of having a --

Meg’s vessel had been an omega, but being possessed had arrested her natural cycle and, for all intents and purposes, she was a beta. The same thing happened with angelic possession. So Meg didn’t entirely get when Sam was going through, but she was probably the closest to understanding.

Meg ran her fingers through Sam’s greasy hair. Sam didn’t look up at her again. “You look like shit, sweetheart.”

“Thanks.”

“Why don’t you come out for a bit? You’re burning up.”

“I’m fine. Just a couple more days.”

“Uh huh. A couple more days of being locked up in the dark. That’s healthy.”

“Why the hell are you here, Meg?” he snapped.

“Feathers is worried about you,” Meg bit back. “And that means I’m worried about you. Are you just gonna do this for the rest of your life? Lock yourself away whenever you get a little tingle in your big boy bits?”

Sam grit his teeth. “Fuck off.”

“Or are you going to actually do something about it?”

“Do what?! What do you suggest, Meg? I’m never going to be a real omega, so why the hell does it matter?”

“That’s bullshit and you know it! You feel like an omega, so you’re an omega. All that matters now is making you comfortable, and I’m surprised that big brain of yours hasn’t figured that out yet!”

Sam took a deep breath to calm himself. It didn’t really work. “We’re hunters,” he said simply. “Even if we had insurance, we couldn’t even afford hormones or -- “

“Have you asked?”

Sam didn’t answer. No, he never asked about hormones. He looked into it himself, more than a decade ago, and he asked Cas if he could change him, fix him up the way he healed Dean when he dragged him up from Hell. The answer had been no, because even if Cas had the kind of power to do such a thing, it was too complicated, too much had to change, and it would be unbearably painful, even if he managed to pull it off. Sam hadn’t bothered asking Gadreel.

Meg shoved the tray at him and left without a word, but Sam suspected she wasn’t just trying to get Sam’s head on straight. No, Meg knew something Sam didn’t, and as soon as he was feeling up to it, he was going to figure out what it was.

Meg was right. Anything was better than this.

 


End file.
